About NVC

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a means of understanding ourselves and each other in which we recognise that all human beings share the same basic needs, and that every action we take is an attempt to get these needs met. It enables us to see our shared humanity, and to communicate across differences.

‘Needs’ in NVC terminology refers to root desires and values that we can all identify with. Examples include acceptance, connection, autonomy, purpose, and security. When these needs are unmet we experience challenging or uncomfortable emotions, such as anger, sadness, disappointment, loneliness, fear, and anxiety. Recognising the connection between such feelings and unmet needs, in both ourselves and others, supports us to move beyond judgement into compassion.

There are four basic components of NVC: observations, feelings, needs, requests. This translates into a sentence which can be formulated like this: ‘When…(insert observation of what happened)...I feel…(insert your emotional response)...because I need…(insert what matters most to you). Would you be willing to…(insert request)’. The focus is always on the intention to connect.